Gaining Self-Awareness with
The Spiritual Enneagram

The Fourth Dynamic comes from the exploration of the Spiritual Enneagram. The Spiritual Enneagram identifies the essential nature of each person, which lies at the source of their personality. And just as the previous three dynamics emerged in these sessions with couples, the specific pure essential gifts of each partner also became ever so evident.

It also became clear that these precise extraordinary qualities consistently aligned to each person’s Enneagram types. People of the same personality type were expressions of that same specific ‘quality of being’ that made them special.

These are the natural special qualities and essential talents within each person that stand out to everyone. In fact, these are the very qualities in each other that first drew them together. These attributes of their inner nature are what each partner so appreciated, valued, and loved about the other.

However, the source of these striking qualities are not the personality. Nor were these specific essential qualities learned or brought out in their upbringing in their family of origin. After all, brothers and sisters are usually a different personality type, with different gifts — yet they too were brought up in the same family system.

These specific distinguishing qualities are inherent in their very being. This is their true pure Self. These are widely considered spiritual qualities – transcendent qualities like unbounded Peace, unconditional Love, inner Bliss, pure Intelligence, and essential Power. Each of these is the source of an Enneagram personality type.

And they are self-evident. You can readily see these inherent gifts in people – the essentially Peaceful person, the pure Loving and caring person, the innately Happy person, the Intelligent person, the Powerful person, and so on through each of the types.

Partners in the sessions as well as those reading ‘The Conscious Person book series’ were able to identify and come to realize and appreciate the essential pure qualities of their own Self – their Higher Self as it were. And recognize that in their partners too!

This experience crystalizes for them in an intimate way as partners realized that this pure Awareness was their true identity inside. “This is who I am inside.” This is their essential nature. Not their ego. Nor their physical body. Those are mere reflections of this intimate inner Self, however pure or impure those reflections may turn out to be in their persona.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Identifying the specific pure nature of each individual’s higher Self is a new revelation in the evolution of the Personality Enneagram. These are not concepts or models. They are the experiential reality of Self, of who we are. The purer one’s consciousness, the more of their natural Self is experienced and expressed in their personality.

The Spiritual Enneagram also provides a unique view looking into the ego, from the top down as it were. This gives us a new and more fundamental dimension in understanding and working with the inner dynamics within each person.

As you will see, it provides each of us with a unique personal road map. A non-pathological framework that provides the foundation for recognizing and resolving the core needs, sensitivities and imbalances in one’s persona. One that empowers partners so they can better align to and live from, their noble Selves in sustaining a fulfilling relationship together.

This is the conscious path. The goal is to realize and increasingly deepen our conscious connection to our essential nature within our Self. For this place at the core of our being is a place of wholeness, of peace and fulfillment within. This is Home.

Cultivating this pure Awareness is also what strengthens our sense of Presence in our personality in the face of challenges in life. It is what enables each of us to step out of the ego and recognize the stressful patterns and dynamics that are affecting us inside and distancing others right as the tensions are emerging!

The more self-aware each of us is, the more we will readily catch it. Otherwise, when we become triggered or upset, those inner pressures can overshadow our Presence – our pure Awareness. Then there is nobody at home. This is when our insecurities – our frustrations and anger,our fears and selfishness do all of the talking and reacting. This is not our noble and wise, pure spiritual Self.

This is why we seek to gain these awarenesses and become conscious of our inner world. So we maintain and deepen our Presence in our connection to Self, and with each other, through thick and thin.

And a committed relationship is just the place to do it! This is where our insecurities are most exposed. And here is where we can support each other in the process of growing and healing together. It certainly makes it easier to live together if we have this shared self-awareness. Where each of us is able to recognize and own it whenever we become triggered or when inner pressures take over.

It is this self-awareness in our personality that also anchors us inside in the face of rising tensions. The inherent groundedness of Self – our Presence – is what provides the inner security that empowers us to work through any entanglements that need attention. And resolve the issues that can overshadow our pure nature.

In doing so together we deepen our conscious connection to what is noble within ourselves. And in the process, free up even more Self – more inner security, more inner peace and fulfillment from within.

Couples find that this new clarity of inner wisdom enables each of them to increasing attune to and live from their inner purity of consciousness together within themselves. This deeper level of consciousness becomes as concrete as a lighthouse beam they now seek to align to inside their Self to guide them through the situations they face.

Without the inner awarenesses and attunement with their pure and noble inner Self, people instead tend to get caught up in, and live from, their personalities’ insecurities and fears, their resentments and self-serving needs in life. And they usually don’t see it. When that becomes their daily “reality,” it becomes even more difficult for them to recognize these distortions that show up in their persona. Or in their attitudes and strongly held belief systems.

And you can tell. The contrast is ever so evident. In a challenging situation, it stands out when anyone takes the “High Road.” This is when they react graciously, thoughtfully, compassionately, unselfishly, wisely.

Again, where does that come from inside of us? After all, we all have that place of pure goodness inside, as buried as it may seem. And whenever more of our pure nature shows up, it stands right out. Immediately. To everybody.

This place is inside each of us at the core of our being. And this is important to become fully aware of, sensitive to, and align to.

This is why we seek to become Conscious. So we increasingly can live from our natural purity – from wisdom, security, and peace, and in our love and caring for others.

Continue to Discovery 5:

Learning the New Conscious Couples Skills and Tools